some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize
