His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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