Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
Randomize
