you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Randomize
