____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Randomize