Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Randomize
