i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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