How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Randomize
