youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
