i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
