i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
I supernannyed him into submission
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
Randomize
