The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Randomize
