Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Randomize
