i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
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