Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
Operation Purity has been aborted
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
