did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
organizing the empties. That sober.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Randomize
