Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Randomize
