Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
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