i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
