Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Randomize
