WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
