i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
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