we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
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