what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
Randomize
