I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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