the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Randomize
