i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
no. you can't hotbox the world.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
