seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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