i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
