i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
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