i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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