Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
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