is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
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hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
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Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
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