my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
