the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
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