I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Randomize
