What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
