I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
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