My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
