What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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