there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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