you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
