Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Randomize
