I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
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