He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
do herpes really smell.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
