Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize