There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
