I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
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