if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
