My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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