he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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