i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Randomize
