you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize
