Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
