yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
