I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Randomize
