Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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