he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Randomize
