Three words: puerto rican gang bang
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
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