my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
