no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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