well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Randomize
