found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Randomize
